Meowmeowmeow.

Gah. I'm so fucking... pissed. And depressed.
Gr.

We still need to bribe my evil adoptive aunt with several thousand dollars, or else we will be forced to sell the house and divide the money up from that. Like I said before, this really really really really sucks. A lot. Suckysuckysucksuck.

So, now... I'm expected to put out $5,000. If I do that, I'd like to at least be treated with more respect or something in the household.

>< I kindof want to kill this woman, even though she's family or whatever... she's fucking evil. And the world would be better off without her. Our family certainly would be...

Fuck, I bet Granny's rolling around in her grave right now.

I'm trying to get rid of my horses since I don't have anywhere to keep them while keeping it affordable.. --;;
So... I'm trying to sell Sleipnir to this lady who used to board her horses at the same barn as me a couple years ago... I'm also trying to bribe her into taking Rune for free so we don't have to seperate the horses. <<; And blahblah.
I don't know how this'll work out... but, yeah.
This sucks. --;

Update:
So... the lady doesn't want poor Sleepy because of his disposition and she's too old to train it out of him.
Blahblah.
Sucksucksuck.

Well...
The fact that my grandmother didn't sign her will before she died has come back to haunt us. Again.
Wee.

So... Apparently, my Granny's adoptive daughter is being a real bitch and trying to do something stupid that will make us have to sell the house and give her a lot of money.

This is retarded.

My aunt, Pamela, the infamous schitzo-face with a microchip in her brain wants to take all the money out of my bank account to give to my other bitchy aunt, to try to pay her off or something so we don't lose the house.

And.. I say: Fuck no.
I'm not going to just give away my life savings to please some bitch.
And.. I'm not even gonna go into how and why this whole situation is so ridiculous. It just is. That's all you need to know.

Blahblah.
Now I need to forget about this temperarilly so I can get some sleep.
Wee.

PS: My martial arts graduation thingi is this Friday. I'm gonna get my brown belt w/ black stripe.
And... our little "I <3 Dojo Club" thing is really fun... Makes me kinda sad though, 'cause I can't really be myself as much as I'd like. I guess it sounds dumb, but I think I'm just now beginning to be aware of how I'm one of those people I hear my 'master' talking about with 'double lives' or whatever. I mentioned it to Austin and she's like "welcome to life, everyone does it". Blahblah. I wish I didn't have stuff to hide, but I do. And wee for the fact that my martial arts place is a christian school.. thing. I understand what Shoefacehead means about 'images to uphold', and stuff about religion. People are so judgemental. Fucking bastards. Gods, I hate them. --;;; If only everyone was all nice and understanding. And wee.

PS again...: This is random, but I've been thinking about it alot and just have to get it out of my head.
I've been catching myself having some suicidal thoughts or something... again. Not necissarilly killing myself, but just not being alive for much longer. It feels a lot like it did when I was 14. I hate it.  I wish I could just do whatever I need to do to be happy and actually live a decent life instead of thinking how life sucks and how it'd just be easier to not be alive. Or something about how life seems so fucking pointless sometimes...
Sigh. I probably have more to say, but I won't. Maybe later, if I feel like it.

Blahblahblacksheep.

'Night
(even though it's almost 7 in the morning.. --; )

I have some friends at my martial arts school, and we made a little club - unofficially called the "I <3 Dojo Club". It's.. happy. We're gonna have little outings and after-class stuff... On Saturday, we're having a little dinner party.
Last night, after my class, Hades and I hung around with one of the blackbelts in the little 'club' and we got to practice some advanced stuff and went to Waffle House afterwards.
Weee. It was fun.

Okeedokee...
I finally got to see how the 'new stable' did with the hurricane. And... I really don't want to bring the horses back there. >>;;
The little house that was near the barn almost got turned around, and everything got flooded with at least 8 feet of water.
All of my horse tack and grooming supplies, and some of my dad's tools were there, and we can't even find them. <<;;; And that makes me sad.
So... yeah. I guess I need to figure out something to do with the horses. At least for now I know they're safe at Austin's family's stable.
I'm debating on keeping the horses and buying new tack and stuff for them, or sell them - which would make me really sad.
Blahblah...

We got power and internet back today.
Weee.

The hurricane was kinda fun... Being in the eye of the storm was interesting...
  

And... Getting drunk and happy and naked in the backyard was fun, too.

All the destruction around here is kind of beautiful.

Aside from all that, though... I have a feeling this whole thing is gonna effect my martial arts stuff.. and graduation.. That makes me kinda sad. Sighsigh. Ohwell.

And.. the whole time the power was out, I either didn't dream at all, or had really crappy recall.
Today, I had very vivid dreams, and woke up to the power being restored. I kinda wonder if I need some sort of ambient energy for things... It's a possibility, since I effect electrical things - maybe they effect me? I know that without power, the house seemed very calm...
I also know that the hurricane effected me, or caused some sort of shift. I can't really tell what changed, but something did.

Funfun.

PS,
My mom made a surprise visit yesterday. It fucking scared the shit out of me. At least she was sober... so it wasn't that bad.

Yep.

There's this big scary hurricane coming my way. And I'm not evacuating.
Hehe, wee...
If no one hears from me for a week, assume I'm dead.

Hopefully mister hurricane Ike will miss me, though.

Horoscope fun...
"You're still feeling pretty intense right now and that could mean it's time for a change of some kind. That does not necessarily mean you should just mix things up at random, though -- use your head!"

And.. and... stuff.

Hades stayed up until 8am, kept my dad awake all night... and made me sad. Gr.

Can't really think of much else to add to this right now.. >>;

The end.

So... this stupid bruise on my shin hurts alot. And.. it looks really bad. And... since yesterday, my foot and leg have been cramping like a bitch. ;-;

And Hades is like "you shouldn't go to your classes until your leg heals or else it will never get better."
Well. I know that. But also.. if I'm not up-to-date on all my classes for this month, I won't be able to graduate at the end of the month. Not only that, but my sparring team people are kindof counting on me...
Sigh. I really can't do much. I can hardly walk, much less run or pivot or kick anything.

Blah. Gr.

And stuff.

I'm gonna show up at the dojo anyways for our sparring practice, talk to the team captain, and talk to Master Falco about maybe participating in class as much as I can without aggrivating my injury... I really don't wanna miss any more classes. And not ranking up would make me sad.

Regarding the sparring thing I did today...

One of the blackbelts I was supposed to fight didn't show up... So I had to fight someone alot easier. I'm happy.
But then... since our team was missing people too, I had to fight someone else I wasn't expecting, but it was fine... They were a couple ranks below me and thought it was fun to just throw themselves at me - making it very easy to have them run into my kicks. (There's something very satisfying about burying my foot into someone's stomach.. heh)
Uhm.. then... We fought against another team, and I had to fight against the first girl I fought 's brother, he kicked me in the breast. ;-; But I got alot of groin shots in on him, so.. I guess we're even. Ohwell.. Reminder to self, get some sort of protective bra. Eh... So like, the other blackbelt I was supposed to fight was put up right after I had the fight against the guy, and.. my shins were hurting alot, so someone else went up in my place.
So.. all in all, it went well. XD I didn't get hit in the face, or hurt too badly.. with the exception of a 5 inch long bruise on my shin that hurts alot and makes it hard to walk...

Wee. I still need practice. But that'll have to wait 'till monday for that... In the meantime, I should focus on the horses and shit like that.